


Control

by RubyLeeRay



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Aggression, Angst, Biting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Smut, Weight mentions, Woman on Top, gentle choking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:01:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8609770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyLeeRay/pseuds/RubyLeeRay
Summary: MC goes willingly with Saeran and he can't figure out what that means for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I love Saeran's character and wanted to write his first time being truly intimate with someone he loves but in his own way. I try to mix violence and aggression with innocence and confusion. I feel like this balance works for him. I didn't want to put Graphic warning but full disclosure - there are mentions of biting and gentle choking but I don't think they are too graphic.

It was a rough couple of weeks when she first came here. Even though she didn’t bite my hand or try to escape, she would lash out and scream at me a lot. She's been more calm lately and I feel like we are finally at a point in our relationship where she is breaking. Every now and then I test my theory by provoking her. She responds with less intensity but she still has that delicious fight to her. I want her to feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. The opposite to how I was sure Saeyoung made her feel.

I had to push that out of my mind quickly. I brought her here to keep her here for myself so any thoughts of Saeyoung were unnecessary. I was supposed to be keeping her in a different room than the one I was, but this one was bigger and closer to mine so I made an executive decision. I'll probably tell her about it later so she can thank me.

After another sleepless night I get out of bed early to decide enough is enough. I stomp my way to her door and throw it open with a bang. She wakes with a start but she doesn't seem scared. She lays still. I grab her by her wrist and jerk her upright. I look into her eyes. She doesn't look as if she has just woken up - she appears to have been awake for a while. We continue to stare at each other. My face in a snarl and hers rigged with hate.

There was a lot of tension but I didn’t know what kind. I loved that she hated me but I wanted her to love me. Is this how my brother felt with her? Is this how he treated her? How much of her had he seen? How much of her had he touched? How much of her had he kissed? Did she like it? She had stuck around him this long so that had to say something. I realized I was lost in thought and snapped myself out the haze.

She speaks first and asks me what I want. I know she knows what I want; she is just toying with me. I tell her as much. She laughs. I grip her wrist harder. She stares at me expectantly and licks her lips. I bring mine down hard onto hers. She resists at first but then ever so slightly relaxes. Her free hand stays at her side and the hand I am holding goes limp. I let off a bit of the pressure and begin to move my head slightly. She opens her mouth and welcomes my tongue in with gentle caresses. It carries on like this for a few seconds before she brings her hand to my face. I throw myself back away from her defensively. She has a mischievous grin.

Was that what it was like when she first kissed Saeyoung? I have to know.  I demand to know what he tastes like. She tells me he tastes like me only sweeter. I am outraged. She then has the audacity to laugh and while I look at her blind with rage, she comments that she had always wanted to use that line. I'm staring at her blankly. She mentions that it is from a movie and song like I should know that. While I'm still angry that she dared to even say it at all, the fact that she said it likely knowing it was a reference I wouldn't get makes me even madder. She’s trying to make me feel stupid and she’s succeeding. I think about hitting her but I don’t and I realize can’t. This realization of how much she is affecting me hits me hard and I can barely move. She has been the one in control right this whole time - not me.

She is looking at me with a confused expression and she has been saying my name for quite some time but I am only hearing it now. I'm processing everything at a rapid rate but it's all coming crashing down. I am stepping backwards but I'm getting dizzy. She lunges up from the bed to catch me before I fall. While I dwarf her in height, my skinny frame is skeletal compared to her curvy body. She catches me and brings me in tight, lowering my head onto her lap. She is apologizing because she thinks she triggered me with the dumb joke she made. I just let her ramble on. There is something about her face softly contorting into worry that is making me feel a strange way.

I quickly jump up and away from her but I lose my balance and she's right there rescuing me again. I hate it. I shove her hard onto the bed and I stare her down with all the hate I can muster. She stares back and demands to know why I came in here today and why I kissed her. She's asking a million questions she has no right to ask. I tell her to shut up over and over again. I'm screaming it now trying to cover my ears.

She waits for me to finish and as soon as I do she tells me she hears me call out to her in the night. She paints a detailed picture of every night where I'm either screaming or whimpering her name over and over again. I tell her she's lying but I know she's telling the truth. Every thought I have had become consumed by images of her swirling in my mind. I feel sick and need to lie quickly. I tell her it's how I get off when I’m pleasuring myself. It's all a tactic. It's the crudest thing I can think of in the moment which in all fairness isn't that crude at all. Worse still my shaky delivery of the life makes it even more pathetic sounding. She sees right through it and I know I have lost again. We both stop speaking and have come to an unsatisfying stalemate.

I'm about to leave when she reaches under the mattress and hands me a drawing she made. It's Saeyoung but he has an intense sadness in his eyes. I crumple it up and laugh. I ask her if she thinks I care about him or his feelings. She un-crumples the picture and says no. She then tells me the drawing is of me. I haven't seen a mirror in years and she is no artist, but the drawing is only the type of drawing someone could make who has truly seen you and into your soul. I'm disgusted and overwhelmed by the intimacy of the photo. I crumple it again and try to push it from my mind.

I made a mistake coming into this room. I stand up to leave, but this time she grabs my wrist and hard too. I struggle to break free but she's using her weight against me. She pulls me down beside her and while still holding my wrist, she looks so deeply into my eyes, I flush. I hate her. I throw myself on top of her and hold her wrists above her head. Her heartbeat grows so heavy I can feel it thumping under me. She doesn't struggle though. I let go of her hands but continue to lie on top of her. She shifts the slightest amount and my hands instinctively return to her wrists. She lifts her head up and brings her lips to mine. I return the kiss with a violent passion. I almost feel like we are trying to make a meal of each other's mouths.

She is writhing beneath me and while she has me beat by pounds, I’ve got the height and positional advantages and my passion is making me strong. She begins to make whimpering sounds beneath me and I let her have her arms. She immediately throws me onto my back and puts my hands above my head the way I had just done to her. She continues to kiss me while grinding on top of me. I am overwhelmed by her womanly figure. She sits up and removes the shirt I gave her to wear. She has no bra on and her breasts hang down. She brings them to my face and I can't get my mouth on them fast enough. I suck and bite at the warm flesh and while she lets out moans and groans - they seem to be of pleasure. I know this because when I bite too hard, she slaps me letting me know I've gone too far. Unfortunately for her I loved it so I will do it again. She tugs at my shirt and I take it off.

She takes a second to assess my frail body. It is pale, scarred, and bruised. I am ashamed. I try to push her head down to avert her gaze but she slaps my arm away and begins kissing my blemishes. I hate it. Tears spring to my eyes and I begin to hyperventilate. She grabs my chin in her hand and tells me to stop and relax. While still breathing hard, I stop protesting. Instead I focus on her lips moving around my body. Every scar, tattoo, and blemish gets it own kiss as she works her way further and further south down my body leaving tiny heat spots behind when her lips leave for new territory. She whispers “beautiful” over and over again and in a moment of weakness I tell her she is beautiful. She pauses but doesn't stop entirely. I can feel her smiling. I’ve lost again but I don’t regret it this time. 

She stands up and removes her pants. She is now fully nude and I try to take every inch of her in. She’s so round and her soft skin is blushing. She bites her lips and I realize how bad I want to bite them too. Instead, I bite my own lip hard. She asks if I am doing okay but I don’t know why. She then asks if she can remove my pants. I think I should say no but I don’t want to. I feel embarrassed to be naked in front of her but I notice she must feel embarrassed too as she is making weak efforts to hide her tummy. I wonder how she could be embarrassed by her body when she has the body of someone who is happy and healthy. Not like my own thin stringy frame.

I weakly order her to return to the bed. She walks slowly towards me and I offer my hand which she accepts. I pull her back in to me. We are lying on our sides kissing softly. Instinctively, I begin aggressively tugging at myself but she reaches over and stops me. I look at her with a confused expression and she slowly slides my hand over to herself and parts her legs. I blush again. She then reaches over to me, takes me in her hand, and gently begins stroking me. I begin to poke and dig around the area where she put my hand when she grunts and insists I try making small circles instead. I don't like the idea of her telling me what to do but she rewards me with small purrs so I decide to let it slide this time.

 Her audible pleasure is pushing me to the limit and I begin to thrust hard into her hand. She lets go and stops me again. Why do I keep letting her do this?  I'm about to put her hand back for her when she leans over me and climbs on top. She straddles my waist and I feel her wet heat hovering above me. She kisses me some more and places my hands on her breasts again. I am trembling trying to focus on her mouth and breasts instead of the heat above my crotch. I so badly want to feel inside her. I beg her. She smiles again and uses her hand to guide me in.

The second I penetrate her, she lets out a moan and I nearly burst. I order her to cease all activity. I've never concentrated harder. She smiles that annoying smile I usually hate but this time it’s not so bad. Every inch of me is surrounded by her warmth and I feel drunk. She tells me everything is okay and she begins moving her hips very slowly. It feels like nothing I have ever felt before. I’m making weird grunting noises involuntarily that she keeps giggling at. I wonder if my weird noises do the same thing to her as her song like noises do for me.

She leans over me still gyrating slowly and I kiss her. It’s the slow and sensual kind of kiss that I am not used to. I panic and bite down hard on her lip drawing blood. She sits back for one second and places her fingers on her mouth. She pulls them away and they have blood on them. She sucks in her lower lip and gives me a small moan before placing her bloody fingers in my mouth. I look into her eyes as I lick them clean tasting the salt of the blood and the sweetness of her skin. I grab her by the back of her head forcing her bloodied mouth back onto mine. She quickens her pace and begins tightening around me. I am kissing her as hard as I can. I can’t get enough of her lips. With the taste of her blood fresh in my mouth I feel myself losing control. I wrap my hands around her neck. I think I want to choke her, but I don’t. Instead I grip firmly but allow her to breathe. She moans with pleasure and I feel her vocal chords vibrate against my hands.   

She tells me she is close and asks if I am too. It takes me a minute too long to process what this question means and I cry out as I explode inside of her. She bucks against me as I hold her throat tight. She screams my name and falls on top of me crushing me under her weight. This is now how I wish to die. 

I allow her to lay on me for just a few minutes while she catches her breath before I order her off. She apologizes and smiles at me saying she couldn’t help herself. I tell her she should learn to try. She comes back at me telling me she doesn’t want to. I want to smile but instead I don't reply at all and we fall into another awkward silence. She tries to pull her blanket over herself but I tell her I don’t want her to. I don’t tell her it’s because I’ve never seen a body so beautiful and I don’t want to stop looking at her. She's smart though and apparently I'm weak so I know she figured it out. She settles back onto the bed and stares up at the ceiling with me.

I have something to ask her and now seemed like the right time. I demand to know if she came with me willingly that day or not. She paused for a moment before answering with a yes. I really like that answer. I then ask her why. She rolls onto her side and faces me. I look at her briefly before looking back up at the ceiling. She tells me she has always felt like she had a purpose in life that she could never quite place. She says the day she joined the RFA things finally started becoming clear for her but the day we met in person she said it all made sense. She was drawn to me and saw how badly I needed her. She said she knew I was her purpose and she wanted to do everything she could to save me, even if it meant losing her life. She gave me another one of her looks where she looks so deeply into me that tears began to fill my eyes. I didn’t speak for a long time and several hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked over at her and she was still looking inside of me but I could tell she wasn’t expecting a response. I wanted to give her one anyway.

“Thank you.” I whispered before closing my eyes and leaning into her. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Saeran needs saving!


End file.
